My mission is to make fun of every blog I can, on my blog, and in their comments. I also would like to promote Hektik Radio with this blog, because they are some funny motherfuckers!

Saturday, February 07, 2004

Urgent update! Contrary to current rumor, I am NOT the girlfriend of that Mil guy.
Weekend update and upcoming plans.
First of all, I have set up an email account for those of you who would like to contact me. Send blogs for me to review, flames, spam, your phone number, whatever you wish. I will not reply to any emails sent, but I will be sure to make fun of some of the more humorous ones on this blog, of course.

As I said in my last post, I will usually only post one review per day. However, I will be heckling elsewhere, in the comments sections and scrollies that people display. I am likely to simply make a list of lame blogs so that my fans can go see what kind of things I said on these other blogs.

I will also be making this blog a little more interactive by adding a scrollie thing myself for my fans and my haters. Keep it coming. I love you all.

In the future, it is likely that some of you will have questions about me, such as my gender, profession, sexual orientation, age, etc. What I will most likely do is put up polls to let you guess, then never tell you. Or I may drop very subtle hints and then let you know afterwards and see if you can find them. We'll see.

But, SOP will remain the same. Find the lame, expose them for what they are, and laugh.
My schedule has changed, so from now on, I will post about only one blog a day. It is not hard to find enough idiotic content to write endlessly. Here is a good example. And this one is even listed on blogs of note. Here's a particularly lame answer from "Bubby:"
Dear Tara,
Tell your boyfriend he can wear those outrageous printed shirts in Hawaii or any of the island countries but when he is with you, you want him to be dressed with toned down shirts. You could also buy one of those outlandish tops and wear it and let him complain. Then you can make a deal with him -- neither of you will subject yourselves to such ridiculous clothes. Or you can insist he wear a jacket so no one will notice his garish outfits. If he really loves you, he'll want to please you .

What a crock of shit. Bubby needs to wake up and smell the coffee. Noone in his right mind will wear what his girlfriend says! He'll end up looking more stupid than before! Here's what I wrote to this Bubby thing:

Dear Bubby,
What makes you think you're the font of knowledge just because you're an old fart? Knitting and suckling children does not a wise person make. Your silly answers are worse than the silly questions you get. But what it all boils down to is that this is just a remix of Dear Abby/Ann Landers. A very poor one at that. Do us all a favor and go back to making doilies and stop trying to look cool on the interweb.
the blog heckler

Of course, I -really- hope it doesn't respond. I would probably have to puke.
It seems that some folks really enjoy what I'm doing. Even so much as to ask for reviews of their sites. Well, then. I think I will oblige. First, up, we have some real lamers. At first sight, you might think they're some kind of dirty hippies. Quietwater. Is that like when you're too embarrassed to piss in a public restroom, so you stand there and just dribble? I can see you in that position. But sadly, after reading through the site, I have only come up with questions, which I posted on their silly little scrollie:

blogheckler: Is there a point to this blog besides making others feel lucky that their IQs are not in the negative? You are a bunch of fatasses with nothing to do but figure out different ways to spell "hack."

A waste of air and bandwidth, folks. Whatta maroon.

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