My mission is to make fun of every blog I can, on my blog, and in their comments. I also would like to promote Hektik Radio with this blog, because they are some funny motherfuckers!

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

I just got back from Tennessee. Do you have any idea what I could write in this blog about some of the people there? God.

Anyhow, I talked to the hektik guys, and am waiting for my DVD from them, and gathering phone numbers for the radio shows. You know anyone's phone number who's a stupid fuck? Send it to me, and I'll add it to my list. Send details, also, such as things that are embarrassing to them.

Speaking of embarrassing, let's revisit this blog. While Maine is a good kid, and one of my best fans, and a very funny blogger, his pal Ev is, well, let's just say THAT'S NOT CHOCOLATE PUDDING IN HIS SHORTS. I mean, have you SEEN the imbecilic cartoons he draws? Here, Ev, have a breathing strip for your nose, and do stop drooling on your keyboard. Open the window and get some fresh air. You're killing the two braincells you have left via lack of oxygen!

Oh yeah, and take an art class. Uhm. And leave out the bubbles? Hmm. I can't think of anything that would help your lame ass "art," so nevermind.
Till next time,
bh

Friday, May 06, 2005

Most of the photo blogs are pretty good. But fuck. I've found the WORST one EVER!!! I am speechless. Yes, me, speechless. But if you hold the space bar down and watch the pictures scroll by real fast, it kind of looks like people are fucking. Not a redeeming quality, I know. Let's just hope her parents are proud of her. I finally found some words to put in her comments section:

Oh my GOD! This is the WORST photo blog I've ever SEEN! Not only is it boring, but you and your friends are ugly as barn rats! Do everyone a favor, and make this blog accessible only by your parents!
ug.
-bh
Okay, how about this sicko! I think "playing with your puppy in the pool," means something else. What do you think. I shudder to think where this blog may eventually end up going. Here's what I left in his comments section:

Hey, you sick fuck! How about, instead of "playing with your puppies in the pool," you go out and learn how to spell!

What a fucking pervert.
--bh

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Oh, I see this stupid bitch is still at it. This time, she's saying "wah, wah, people shouldn't ask the government to DO anything for them! Do it yourselves!" What an ignorant cunt. What do we pay high taxes for? What do they have millions of people on their payroll for? Suck a cock, whore. You're much better at that!
--bh

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog, because Comment This went bye bye. Stupid fucker. I also cleaned out some links, but I'm not going to ditch the links I hecked just yet. Let the past hecklings be a lesson to all of you who dare to post a stupid fucking blog!
--bh
Well, folks, I got a nice comfy job doing, well, nothing, so guess what! Yep, I'm back, with time to update this daily with links to really horrid fucking blogs. Tonight, I start with these dumbasses. I know it seems like they're a bunch of teenagers, s1nc3 theY tALk L1ke tH15, but I have the inside story. The guy who does the blog is actually a 46 year old male who tricks young kids into reading his blog, gives them music, and then god only knows what the hell he does with them after that! This fucking pedo is a fucking waste of human skin, no better than Michael Jackson, or, worse, Ice T (did anyone see his interview on ESPN earlier? He's a god damned IDIOT!!!). Anyhow, I can't cut and paste in this lame ass blog anymore, so you'll have to go on over there yourselves to see what I wrote in his pathetic scrollie.
Till tomorrow,
bh

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Guess who's back, expanding horizons once again! Yep, it's me. I've moved, gone through several jobs, and finally have a good one, one that also gives me time to heckle the public once again. Only this time, it won't be just blogs. It will be everything! So, fuck you. Yes, and you too! My new web residence is at hektik.org. Stop by. Not that I give a shit.
-bh
P.S. Note the email change in the top right corner. Submit any stupid shit you see to that email address and I'll see what I can do.

Tuesday, April 13, 2004

Time to expand my horizons. And what better way to do that than to start with the Live Journal Losers? Now, we all know that this is where the whiners and drama queens started out. We also know that most of these jerks are big fat losers. Let's see what I can find tonight! Ah, here we go: What Would Jaco Do's Journal. Now, I won't even go into the grammatical stupidity of the name of the blog itself. That speaks for itself. But this guy is a complete moron. His latest post addresses some questions that are really bothering him about the Planet of the Apes. I have a friend, Ben, who might just have some questions about the Planet of the Apes, but his questions would be INTERESTING, and he'd even have SPECULATIONS as to the answers. But not this guy. I figure this guy is probably not even as smart as an ape, so I wonder why he even bothers. Also, he seems to be quite obsessed with another lj blogger, shimmer. I contacted shimmer to see what this jerk's problem was with her, and it turns out that he's simply a brain-dead stalker who has nothing better to do than to stalk lj chicks. Now that's pretty damned sad. What a fucking loser. Here's what I had to say to him in his comments section:

First of all, your interest in apes makes sense. I have to get that out of the way. You are ape-like in your writing style, and also your mating habits. Following a lj chick from the journal to EQ is pretty fucking desperate, don't you think? Also, there are rumors that you have a horrible fungus that stinks up entire restaurants. I don't know if the rumors are true, but I believe them. You are obviously a dick-nibbling mouth-breather. Do yourself and everyone else a favor and go back to the trees from which you came, you diseased monkey.

What a fucking waste of O2.

Don't forget, guys! Hektik Radio plays on Thursdays, starting at 10:30pm EST. Be there or miss out on the fun!

Wednesday, March 31, 2004

Okay, this will likely cause nightmares. I really don't know what this guy is doing, but it's obvious that he needs to get laid. He feels insecure about posting his creative writing there, with the reinforcing gesture of putting the word "creative" in quotes, like I just did. I say we all go and offer up some good critique for this wandering derelict. Here was my comment to something on his blog:

First of all, don't be nervous. This will hurt you more than it will hurt me. If you want to write, do not be nervous of criticism, and if you are, then just show all your work to your mommy. She will pat you on the head and tell you that it's the most brilliant thing ever. If you want to write, and write well, and maybe even write for a living, you have to let others see your work, rip it apart, shove it down your neck, and shit on your face. Tactfully. Otherwise, get over it and major in business like all the other pieces of shit who come into writing programs hoping to be praised, then leaving when they don't get what they want. Keep writing, but only if you want to evolve. Otherwise, keep writing and save it for your mum and lovers to read.

Good advice, no?

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